A careful driver is one who honks his horn when he goes through a red light.

After having driven for over 3 years and living in an age where there are more cars on the road than ever before, it’s hard not to notice other people’s bad driving habits. With seeing these on a weekly basis, I thought this provided a great opportunity to share you with a pick of the ones that I think are worst, or in other words the ones that irritate me the most. Just before you read on, I want to disclose the fact that I am nowhere near the perfect driver, I myself have been involved in various scrapes with dustbins, farmyard animals and suchlike.

Anyway, below are my five worst pet hates of drivers:

1. Full beamers

Sometimes I enjoy nothing more than going driving late at night with some of my best pals, but sometimes when I return I wonder how I can still see, after being dazzled more times than Matthew Kelly can say “stars in your eyes”. It’s not so much people keeping full beam on permanently but it’s more when they have it on and don’t turn it off until you actually make eye contact with it. I can tell drivers have it on when the faint aura of their lights appears on the brow of a hill. Even though they can probably see my lights in return, 95% of people seem adamant on not turning them off until they physically see me in my little car, subsequently blinding me for a few seconds.

I just don’t understand why nearly all people don’t turn them off in time. Perhaps drivers forget they have them on? Perhaps they don’t see me in time? Maybe even some might think it’s a low flying UFO just passing by. Even with these explanations I still think that offending drivers see myself and others in plenty of time to tone down their lights before we see them. I could easily go cruising dazzle-free if people just acted the same time as they noticed my oncoming appearance and not three seconds later.

2. Crafty little motorcyclists.

So we are told that even though 1% of all traffic are motorbikes, 18% of road accidents contain a motorbike. Motorcyclists always tell us it’s because we never bother looking out for them. However after seeing the behaviour of some motorcyclists it’s no wonder why we never see them.
Generally bike riders are just as patient and safe as car drivers, but you get the odd intolerant one who will cheat the queue, dart in and out of cars and squeeze into the tightest of gaps in order to get home before Deal Or No Deal is on. I guess at least if it’s a moped you can hear the Crazy Frog-like noise from a mile away, giving you enough time to acknowledge it’s existence and look out for its whereabouts.

Of course, this impression of motorcyclists only represents the smallest fraction of them, but then again you never really remember the safe, by-the-book drivers do you? 65% of drivers claim that when they are involved in an accident with a motorbike they never seen it in the first place. Although most, if not all, people who drive cars can definitely sharpen up on their observational skills on the road, I do wonder if motorcyclists had a bit more patience then this statistic would be lower.

3. Chavs who race with cars that can only be described as milkfloats.

So, Bracknell is famous for its chavs and the boy racer attitude that synonymously comes with it. This is why car insurance is so high for young drivers and why burnt out cars are part of the scenery in the area. However, one of the more laughable incidents that can happen if you come across a boy racer is if you meet them at a red traffic light. As soon as you make eye contact with them, this apparently means you have committed yourself to a driving duel with them, with no definite finish line.
However, more often than not, the cars they drive often share the same engine power as a milkfloat, such as a Fiat Cinquecento. If it’s a car similar to this then I reckon the cars that feature in the Flintstones could outpace this “badboy”. I haven’t got the biggest or quickest car in the world, a 1.4 Polo, but sometimes when these guys pull up beside me I do fancy my chances.

I don’t normally race at all, but one set of boys turned up in an ancient Ford Fiesta, and they looked particularly cocky so I thought I’d try and embarrass them. For sure, my car took off before theirs even registered the green light, but the noise that came from their car just sounded like it had thrown up the gearbox and left it dragging along the tarmac.
So maybe this doesn’t annoy me so much but just makes me laugh at how ridiculous some drivers can be. They’ll learn someday, I’m sure...

4. Rich people with cars as big as their egos.

Porsche 911. Bugatti Veyron. Aston Martin DB9. 11 plate Range Rover. Most of us can only dream of owning one of these cars or one that has a similar price tag.

However usually all or the majority of us have at one time shared a view of digust at the people who drive these vehicles. Put that down purely to jealousy or just disbelief at the way these beefy cars squeeze the smaller, more cosy cars off the road, but there is typically something that these flash cars will never live up to in size: the driver’s ego.

The reason as to why some people think they own the road completely baffles me. My car, Percy the Polo, might be 13 years old, it might need a new exhaust and possibly a good wash, but no way does he deserve to be pushed off the road by your snarling Lotus Elise Mr rich businessman. Every car and it’s owner has equal rights on the road, and there is no written law that newer, bigger cars can jump to the queue ahead of it’s older namesakes. Ok, enough of the sentimental stuff, I’ll stop pussyfooting around with page 572 of the Highway Code and try and grasp the reason as to why money seems to equal road selfishness.

I’m not saying everyone that owns a top sportscar is a mindless and selfish driver but the ones that are try to multitask beyond what is naturally feasible. I’ve noticed one elegant but big-nosed lady try to feed her spoilt baby food straight from Blenheim palace while trying to navigate round a busy intersection. Another? Yes, he was on the phone no doubt furiously trying to strike a deal while responding to an email on his Blackberry from Wilkinson’s saying they’d rejected his latest and greatest invention. I don’t think even Einstein has a theory to explain why these road users can carelessly drive like this, probably thinking they can just wave a wad of notes at the police to let them off the hook. Want my opinion? I’m not trying to pin the blame on a certain section, but I think they’re all bankers.

5. People who think indicating doesn’t exist.

Yes, those little flashing amber lights on the side of your car do actually mean something. They are to help pedestrians, cyclists and fellow motorists alike learn which junction you’re turning off at, which exit on a roundabout you’re leaving at or just the general direction of your journey.
They basically do as they say on the tin, they INDICATE to others which direction you’re taking.

People who don’t indicate properly waste other people’s time, if I added up all the time I had waited unnecessarily in order to guess which way cars were taking, I could have driven across America, especially with all that extra petrol I was using. I mean, it could potentially cause accidents, whereas some drivers are seemingly treating roads as a trial run for road wars, holding off the indicator and then crazily swerving down a backstreet without prior warning.

It’s commonplace in driving to indicate whenever you are changing lane or direction, so it’s difficult to understand why a select group have forgotten to signal, especially when it should have been drilled into them right from the start. I bet these people are the same lot who indicate in car parks when there is clearly only one direction to go.

Basically not indicating, whether it on your way to the local supermarket or on a road trip to Land’s End, hinders everyone else’s journey and even though you know where you’re going, no one else does. Unless if you have a stalker, getting chased by the police car whilst making a cameo appearance on Road Wars or getting followed because you have a nice car and a fat ego. Still, there’s no excuse.

Rant over. Thank you and good night.

9/11: Gone but never forgotten...

So I figured that doing an article in the form of a news report wouldn’t really work for the terrorist attacks in New York because it has been covered so much I felt I couldn’t offer you anything you hadn’t already seen or read. So I guess this is just my attempt to try and give my own collective view on the event and what has happened since then. Whether it proves to be a failed attempt, we shall see.

If you ask anyone where they were when the attacks happened they will be able to tell you. Me? I was in my living room pretending to do my homework but actually playing an important football match on my Playstation. I remember being 5 minutes away from victory which would have put me through to the European Cup final, until my mum burst through our front door, made a beeline for the television and demanded it to be switched over to the news. Usually, as the unruly kid I used to be, I would argue my case until I had managed to finish my important match. However I thought it was too strange behaviour from my mum for it to be her regular daytime soap, so I did as I was told.

Then I saw what happened over and over again. The sight of the two towers collapsing made my football game pale in significance. I was only 12 at the time but it hit me like a brick wall, I pretty much knew I wouldn’t see anything like that again. I have nothing but sheer admiration and respect for the firemen that risked their lives running into the towers conscious of the fact they would collapse at any moment, bearing the attitude that any life saved would serve as a victory.

This theory that at a major event or occurrence people will remember where they were and what they were doing is called flashbulb memory. Of course, major events such as 9/11 are very rare, but I can only think that this instance of flashbulb memory will help the legacy of the victims live on and not let their heroic efforts be forgotten. That day will forever be etched in people’s memories across the world, and even though I’m not American, on this particular day I feel American, well I at least feel a connection and share the same sadness the New Yorkers feel.

I can’t quite believe it’s been 10 years since it all happened. Pardon my use of a cliché, but it only feels like yesterday that it happened, seeing as the memories are still so vivid. However what I think they have planned in place of the twin towers is truly remarkable. Two memorial water features will be placed where the twin towers stood, with the names of each and every person that person engraved round the outside, and I think this will serve as a great reminder, not just to the people of Manhattan but everyone that comes to visit as well.

In terms of replacing the World Trade Centre, there will be one tower named “One World Trade Centre”, exactly the same height of the two former towers, and two smaller towers that will mimic the footprint of the twin towers. There are also another two towers being built and another in the planning, with completion of these expected in 2020. There are also other subliminal ways to remember those who died on the plaza surrounding the complex, with a national museum devoted to the September 11th attacks in place too.

All in all I feel this is an appropriate way to remember the victims of these devastating attacks, yet I think it was important not to replicate the World Trade Centre site but to build a developed and advanced version that is still capable of holding the memories of the people that were lost.

I realise this will seem like a rushed piece, but I felt it was important for me to create my own little tribute for the heroics that these people performed, and how their lives were taken in such a cruel way.

We will remember them.

Life’s a beach so seas the day.

After the culmination of the Second World War, Britain’s beaches probably let out a huge sigh of relief, after constantly being used as minefields and combat zones to contend with the continuous threat of enemy ships and soldiers reaching the shoreline. They weren’t given a moments rest however, as a new menace began to attack soon after, burdening coasts in their millions, armed with deckchairs and windbreakers instead of machine guns and grenades.

This new hazard of course, came in the form of holidaymakers, who flocked to the sea to escape the hustle and bustle of city life. Yet, if they were hoping to find a less claustrophobic lifestyle to what they’re used to with urban living, then they were sadly mistaken, as finding a spare square of sand proved to be a mission in itself. Space was only limited due to the sheer popularity of holidays by the sea back in the 1950s and 60s. The glistening sands and sparkling seas provided a thought to drool over, leading 30 million people vacating to the British seaside year upon year.

Punch and Judy were performing to sell out crowds, piers were creaking under the weight of tourists admiring the coastal view from them, and donkeys were visiting chiropractors after a long hard day of carrying children round on the unforgiving sands. The sea was aplenty with people in bathing suits more reminiscent of the deckchairs they were lounging on only moments earlier. Even the traffic jam en route to the beach was seen as part of the experience, yet it amazes me how they didn’t run out of things to use for I Spy...

Towards the end of the 1960s though this fashion started to crumble, and with the combination of poor weather and deteriorating facilities people started to cast the net out further and go abroad for their summer holidays. This trend has since grown right up to the present day, with package deals and low-cost airlines making international travel more accessible and affordable than ever before.

In 2004 alone, we Brits made 64 million trips abroad, compared to just 4 million in 1961, leaving many beaches across the country empty. I noticed this first hand when I was in Bournemouth on the Saturday of the August bank holiday weekend this year, where there was nobody to be seen. Granted it was an overcast day, but even so it was plain to see how much of a hit Britain’s beaches have taken in terms of popularity. Attractions and amusement arcades were shut many hours earlier than advertised, with Bournemouth more evocative of a ghost town that evening, only the dim lights from the pier suggesting any signs of life.

By the end of the 20th century and at the start of the 21st, this miserable sight was shared amongst most coastal towns. Although, the fact that a trip abroad is no longer seen as a luxury treat but as something that could possibly be enjoyed more than once a year, has started to strangely work in their favour. With everyone finding trips abroad more and more affordable, people are being able to part with some spare cash to enjoy a weekend break on one of Britain’s beaches. This is typically across the Bank Holiday weekends, or fitted into the school holidays, although elder couples are seemingly indulging in a few days by the shore around Autumn time.

Resorts have realised that they are no longer unable to pull in the conventional sunbather or beach lover, so have started to diversify their entertainment in the form of theatre shows and cinema, while also strengthening the nightlife in order to attract younger people and students. This has proved popular with stag and hen dos, and being by the sea no doubt provides people with a bonus activity after a drunken night out, in the form of skinny dipping.

As well as this, seaside towns are also successfully trying to stress the uniqueness of their area in a bid to win more visitors, hoping their character shines through above other rival resorts. For example, Newquay in Cornwall is promoting itself as the “surfing capital of Britain”, as it holds numerous international surfing events throughout the year, actively inviting water sports enthusiasts to test out its mammoth waves. Torbay has also followed suit, making the most of its sandy beaches and coves by building upon its nickname of the “English Riviera”. Meanwhile, Weymouth has been busy underlining its status as Britain’s only natural World Heritage Site, by labelling itself as “the gateway to the Jurassic Coast”.

Do some of you consider holidays a time to just relax and recharge those batteries? I thought so. It’s a good thing that Southwold in Suffolk provides the answer then doesn’t it? With its quiet countryside, love of jazz and peaceful nature, Southwold provides people with an option much less energetic than most.

So while most people would still much prefer to jet off somewhere with guaranteed sunshine, Britain’s coastal resorts are experiencing somewhat of a mini-resurgence through their successful rebranding techniques. Even though some people may not be primarily there to catch a few rays, it is safe to say that the UK has attracted a new breed of tourist.

Who knows, with Britain’s summers getting hotter by the year, some of the holidaymakers who left in the first place might be convinced to tighten their purse strings and stay closer to home in future. I bet if you asked the beaches themselves even they would say they miss the constant blitz of tourists they experienced 60 years ago...

Britain’s Got Controversy 2011

So, another farce rumbles on through talent show history, with Britain’s Got Talent thrust into the spotlight earlier this year after the validity of Ronan Parke’s anonymity before the show was doubted.

Even though it has been furiously denied by Simon Cowell on air and by his music label Syco Entertainment, this latest storm still raises more questions than it does answers. With Mr Cowell being accused of already fixing the victory for Ronan Parke before he even auditioned, this has brought talent shows into further disrepute, with the public wondering whether they are actually fair game for everyone anymore. Even if Ronan isn’t being buttered up for the big time, this does little for Simon Cowell and his host of programmes to try and keep their names clean.

This latest charade wouldn’t be so bad had it not followed a string of previous controversies, both involved in The X Factor and also Britain’s Got Talent. Remember Laura White, a contestant on The X Factor back in 2009? She got booted out of the show for finishing in the bottom two, yet thousands of viewers complained that they couldn’t get through on the phone to register their vote. Laura wasn’t allowed back in the competition, and so many voters felt that she had been cheated out of a chance of winning, especially as she was considered one of the more talented contestants.

In the same year another contestant, Lucie Jones, lost out on the public vote after the judges couldn’t separate her and Jedward. Sounds pretty standard, right? However, Simon cast his vote in favour of Jedward, even after publicly slating them throughout the whole competition, stating that “neither of them could win”. Many people have come to the conclusion that he already knew the lowest placed competitor in the public vote, Lucie Jones, and so voted for Jedward in order to get her booted off the show. Others claim that Simon was “scared” of Lucie and considered her a strong opponent, and so wanted to get rid of her, compared to Jedward, who’s support was always going to fizzle out.

Do you see a familiar trend? Britain’s Got Talent has just been as bad a culprit, with the Ronan Parke fiasco far from the first incident to blacken the show’s name. Even on the same series the drama surrounding Ronan Parke wasn’t the only occasion where eyebrows were raised. Jessica Hobson, another semi-finalist on this years show, was reduced to tears after her performance of Beyoncé’s “Single Ladies” was slammed by the judges. They cited the cheesy dance routine and her choice of outfit as the main benefactors in her downfall, and while audiences across the country watched another singer weep at the realisation of ruining her chances, the real reason for the waterworks started to come to light. She claimed she was forced to dance throughout her act rather stay at the piano like she’d prefer and the song was not her choice, and neither was her dress. At this point producers were probably screaming down Ant and Dec’s earpieces telling them to hurry Jessica off the stage before she exposed any more of the controlling nature that they have behind the scenes over the contestants.

This also happened a couple of series ago with an acoustic duo and a constestant named Natalie Okri who were outraged that they weren’t allowed to even choose their track for their performance but this trend just goes to show how the contestants are somewhat treated like rag dolls. Producers seem to paint a picture in their heads of what the contestants should appear, sound and act like and enforce this through the use of “crowd-pleaser” songs while cheapening the act with a million and one backing dancers and some pretty fireworks to finish off with.

Obviously these disputes are only a small proportion of the controversy that The X Factor and Britain’s Got Talent is shrouded in year upon year. Tapping up contestants before they apply to the show, editing footage to make them appear undesireable to viewers and over-egging contestant’s backgrounds to turn them into charity cases are other things that the two shows have been accused of.

However, in hindsight I actually think these reality programmes thrive on the controversies, enabling them to maximise viewing figures and always guarantee them front page headlines, giving them further exposure to the public. Even though the stories may give bad publicity, they provide talking points in general chit chat within everyday life, and we all know everyone wants to watch what everyone’s talking about. With this in mind, yes we all think these two programmes can be manipulative, yes we can by outraged by some of the rumours and stories we hear surrounding the shows but by no means does it stop us from watching it. If anything it makes people want to watch them more, as drama equals great TV, proved by the current series of X Factor matching it’s record audience for an opening episode.

So it seems the bigger the drama the bigger the audience the two shows pull in. I guess I should’ve changed the title of this article to “Britain wants controversy”...